“Why aren’t you here?”

It seems so long ago, that I saw your face. You were cleaning up equipment and smiling as you were doing it.
I was leaving with my parents, to pick up the last of my things to go home for a year of change.
I said goodbye to you, and you looked up and smiled and told me to have a good summer.
I then went about my life, changing growing up. Back then things were good and clear.
When that year rolled off, and the New Year rolled around, and I got that sad message. That message that would change everything that I knew about you; only to form something that I will never fathom or really truly understand.
That you were missing and no one knew where you were. Everyone was out to find your smiling face, but no one knew. Where to go. Where to look.
Your family was in shock, and I was at a loss for words, to think where could you of gone?
You were missing you were not seen since the morning. We were trying to find you.
As I was trying to keep up with my daily routine all I could think of is you, where are you? Why aren’t you here? Why can’t I see your smile?
That faithful day that they found you, in lake Michigan No words were spoken only a letter left, that explained everything.
Pains, flowed throughout this time, as everyone tried to find the strength to really understand, why?
I traveled that day to come see you, to come remember with thousands of other people. Who you were, your giving smile, your kindness, not knowing how many people you had touched & changed.
So many loved friends were grieving with me, trying to understand why. Why you chose to leave the world.
Those words that were spoken, about you, at the day they set aside for you; your desires, your desires to know me, to know us. To know that God was in you, to see that you loved God so much; that God was there, that was you had these encouraging words; and these encouraging words to me; that God loves me and that you loved me too.
It’s been so hard to look at your smiling face; and to look and try to understand those words.” have a good summer” how could I have a good summer when your gone.
How could that encourage me? How can I be so encouraged LB when you were gone? …
I desired more and more to see you at this day set aside for you; the day that everyone came to honor you and you only. That day we wont forget; but we always are asking why? …
Why do we ask why? Why LB … why couldn’t you see that we loved you; that so many were encouraged by you?
Our tears cried…in the day set aside for you; really trying to find out whom you were; and …still asking the questions God why?
It’s three years later; now; I sit here listening to those words spoken on that day set aside for you; I can only think only, LB I miss you so much; I miss your encouragement, this journey has been so long without you LB;
I keep trying to ask myself why God why isn’t she here? Why did she do this to us? It’s been so hard and long,
I find encouragement in those words; that LB thought were so you were amazing. I find out so much through you word three years later; your smile; your face; even your mom encourages me.
Your life was an example; to me; to your family; to your friends to everyone. You were never being replaced; your smile still lights us up; and your pictures still make us smile; your prayers & thoughts I still think of.
When the future got to rough for us. We remember the God that you loved the most; you encourage us even though you are gone.
Even though we may question why? We know that you are in a better place with him.
We rely on those things that you make us never to forget that God loves us unconditionally, and so did you. Our lives are shorter than we think; and three years later you are still encouraging us to live life to the fullest; to encourage those around us.
You left us so young; but you left us with this gift; the gift of how precious our lives really is. To live each day as if it were our last day to encourage those around us; to lean hard on the one that gave us life: Jesus Christ.
I may never have the right words to describe how I feel about you; how much I was changed by your love & encouragement but I know that your with the One that loves you most; and that you are smiling at me. Saying. “God loves you”.
I ask now today; why aren’t you here? I miss you LB but there was no answer but God spoke saying: I love you; I am the one that formed you; you’re my child.
Why aren’t you here LB? Because you’re with Jesus. And three years later I’m still telling my self to have a good summer, as you told me to do; so long ago, I will never know the right words to tell you or how to say that I will love you till I’m dead.
LB ..your home . and i cant wait to get there to see your smiling face to welcome me in the arms of my Jesus.

Love you LB.