It's been quite awhile, since i've posted anything on this lil blogg. It's pretty late in the morning, because i fell asleep after coming home, under my bed i fell asleep and had the strangest dream. I woke up at 1 am and decided well, I'd better get back in bed. It's been quite a busy well slow semester, I've been trying my hardest to get back on track, with God, school , and life, but sometimes for certainly life, doesn't go the way you want (and in my favor it will never will). I can certainly see that right now, Im having a pretty bad relapse of depression, and its been a struggle so far, to get out of bed some days, to face the world, to make good art, or to have common connection with people. I find myself wanting to spend time alone, and sleep or play second life. (which if you will read a previous post you will understand). It's a difficult thing to overcome, but i feel that when God is being silent about this and Im really trying to figure out where He is in all of this, but Tonight, was kinda of strange i kept hearing this whispered in my thoughts " I made you, I knit you together in your mother's womb, and i love you"... at least i know that I'm not alone. I for sure know God is there, but i am just weak. I pray with Gods help that i can come out of this slump. School has been quite a tizy, Common Ground, is going well but changing and sometimes those changes are hard for me to accept. I learn to deal with the things i have to learn to accept. It's hard being away from those that you love, this year is the 13th year that my mom has been gone, and last thursday was the anniversay of the death, and i had the hardest trying to remember that day .. (i wrote a creative writting piece on it in class) but God was there for that too, it was a way for me to process through the pain of such a hard situaion. Later that day, i called my dad and told her that it was important that he put flowers on her grave. He did, and i couldnt of been happier knowing that He still thinks of her, even though it's thirteen years later, As i continue writting, it becomes later in the morning its (2:35 am) and i should be sleeping but i cant seem to find 40 winks, to fall alseep, so ill begin to listen to chris tomlin, and think about what God has put in my life, to ease just the pain that im going through, sometimes, its so hard to get up & on with life, and make school work. I have no doubt that I'll get through it, but please pray i will.

"6 I am worn out from groaning; all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears. 7 My eyes grow weak with sorrow; they fail because of all my foes. 8 Away from me, all you who do evil, for the LORD has heard my weeping 9 The LORD has heard my cry for mercy; the LORD accepts my prayer." ~ Psalms 6:6-9



always
alex