Things are seemingly more stressful than ever , more painful, and couldn't get worse then they already are. I cant wait till the semester is over. I think honestly, things are so bad they really are. i have just feeling so out of everything. it started with this craig's list thing. i still cant understand this whole dating thing, i got emails from guys who seemed interested in me, and when they saw me they stopped emailing me, it makes me think that there is no one in this world for me. and that no one understands how i feel. And where is God ..in this? I dont know? its hard when you've heard this your whole life, and you know you will probably never date anyone and they will never come to you.

Secondly, it doesn't help that school on top of it is stressing me out, and the show was a disaster. I was supposed to hang five pieces, up and it just went terrible. i had to re do them,and then like katie was like your a junior you should know this stuff, i was like well yeah well it doesn't help when you have a.d.d and can't understand simple stuff. it has to be explained simply. It didn't help being yelled at by jackie on top of that because i didn't understand how to measure right.

Otherwise photo is going well, things are good. It doesnt help that i am sick , strep throat isnt fun. I could barely talk to day and missed dave's class twice. i was too tired to get up so i slept till 12:30 was late for class and then i couldn't go to the common ground meeting, im a bad cg leader. it doesnt help when your stressed and sick and just sick and tired of school. i think this month break will help me. no internet. just time for me to reflect on things and get strong in my faith. Also to try to get better and clean that room of mine up.


i cant wait till the day i know it's dec 14 then maybe i wont cry so much. but seriously i dont know where my life is going...where is God when in the relationships? when will i ever see a man in my life? ...


someday.